Fears of the Young Child

Into any child's life can come frightening and unhappy incidents which set up special fears, and you as parents naturally do your best to protect your child from such specially frightening incidents. But you cannot protect him from all fears.

As the child grows up he seems to experience a series of fears which show up for awhile and then drop out later. Each child differs in what and how these affect him, but in general each age seems to bring some characteristic fears.

2 Years: Many fears, chiefly auditory, such as trains, trucks, thunder, flushing of toilet, vacuum cleaner. Visual fears are dark colors, large objects, trains, and hats. Spatial fears are toys or crib moved from usual place, moving to a new house, fear of going down the toilet.

2 1/2 Years: Many fears, especially spatial; fear of movement or of having objects moved. Any different orientation, such as someone entering the house by a different door. Large objects such as trucks approaching.

3 Years: Visual fears predominate: wrinkled people, masks, bogeyman, the dark, animals, policeman, burglars, mother or father going out at night.

4 Years: Auditory fears again, especially fire engines and sirens; the dark; wilad animals; mother leaving, especially going out at night.

5 Years: Not a fearful age. More visual fears than others. Less fear of animals, bad people, bogeyman, more concrete, down to earth fears: bodily harm, falling, dogs, the dark or that mother will not return home.

What Not To Do When Your Child is Afraid: Never make fun of his fears or shame him, especially before others. Don’t force him to face the thing he fears before he is ready to, unless you are very sure you are right to do so. Don’t become impatient and treat him as if he were babyish. Don’t necessarily feel that it is bad or unnatural for the child to have some fears.

What To Do When Your Child is Afraid: Respect his fears and realize that he will outgrow most of them. Allow a reasonable time of withdrawal from feared things before you attempt to help him adjust to them. Give him a chance to get used to fearful situations, a little at a time. Supervise any compulsive period of overcoming his fears, when he wants to do it over and over again. Analyze his fears and try within reason to minimize feared situations. Familiarize yourself with expected natural fears of children so as to treat their appearances more casually, If your child’s fear is excessive and troublesome and you cannot find out the cause, and time does not show improvement, seek specialized help.

The fears of young children are very real and should be taken seriously. We as adults often fear things that are not understood by us. The young child has many more things that he does not comprehend, and could therefore fear. Some of the more common fears of preschoolers are: Large Objects, Loud Noises, The Dark, Unfamiliar Places & Situations, Toilets, Water, Abandonment by Parents and Death.

It is normal for your preschooler to have fears. A certain amount of caution should be encouraged in young children for their own safety. Regardless of what your child is afraid of, he needs to know that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, that you and other adults often have those same fears, and that you are there to comfort and explain. Some suggestions for helping parents to help their preschoolers cope with fears are: Discuss it openly, Plan for them whenever possible, and Help him understand the world around him and the things in it. Most importantly, your calmness, willingness to listen and explain,, and patience even when the fears seem silly to you, will help him overcome them.

Taken for Living With Preschoolers by Willard Abraham, Ph.D,, and Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim G. Ginott.