Using Enforceable Statements

Many children have an uncanny ability to get us pulled into trying to control what we really cannot.  Enforceable statements tell kids what we will do or allow...rather than trying to tell them what to do.  

When we set Love and Logic limits by saying what we will do or what we will allow:

We avoid looking like a fool when we can't get our kids to do what we say.

We share some control with our children.  As a result they are much less likely to resist in order to regain control.

We avoid getting sucked into trying to control something we really can't.

Examples of Enforceable Statements:

*I give treats to kids who protect their teeth by brushing.

*I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine.

*I'll do all the things I do for you around here when I'm feeling respected.

*I give allowance to those who finish their chores.

*I'll be happy to listen to you as soon as your father and I are finished talking.

excerpt from Jim Fay